being a “female guitarist”
When I started learning to play guitar at age 14, I already had an understanding that there weren’t as many women who played guitar than there were men who played guitar. At least they weren’t as visible or as popular as the men. So when I chose guitar as my instrument, I knew that being a female guitarist would be something meaningful to me, and later on I’d find out to others as well. I could show myself that I was capable of becoming an accomplished musician in an area that was taken up mostly by men.
I also thought about how choosing guitar over another instrument (like piano or violin) would also influence how others saw me. I’d be “special” or “different” and more often than not be in a situation where I’d be compared to and judged against my male classmates and colleagues before even hearing me play. There would be assumptions made about me as a girl learning to play guitar, more comments too. Either good or bad. At the time, I think it’s safe to say that it was generally more accepted (either consciously or subconsciously) to see more boys playing guitar than girls. Back then, I could get a glimpse of these things up ahead in my future and I still chose the instrument that helped shape me as a person.
There was an intention behind my choice. Even at 14, I knew that if I could discipline myself to be a good student and be the best guitarist I could be, that I could be a good example of a girl, a woman and a woman of color, pursuing her passion and show other girls and women that they could do that too.
During my school years, I’d go on to have experiences in and outside of playing guitar that would affect the way I saw myself. I was the only girl out of 3 guitar players in my high school music program. In my community college jazz ensemble, I was the only girl out of 6 guitarists. I didn’t meet another female studying guitar at university until my senior year. For a while it felt like I was always “the only one,” but I did meet so many women musicians (not just guitarists) who I connected with and felt inspired by.🤩
Two out of the seven guitar teachers I’ve had over the years are amazing women/guitarists/musicians/humans. With them, I felt I could be a curious student and an enthusiast for the kind of music I like. They encouraged me when I felt like I was doing well and when I felt like I wasn’t at my best. They pushed me to do challenging things that intimidated me—play the hard piece, apply for that guitar teacher job, say yes to that gig!
I’ve also met some of the best guitarists in the world (who are also women). Not “the best female guitarists in the world,” just “the best guitarists in the world.” I participated in their master classes and attended their lectures and concerts. While these interactions were more fleeting, it was still enough to feel their influence. People gravitate towards them. And I don’t think it’s only because of their high levels of skill, technique or artistry. But because they found something that matters to them (guitar, music, what have you) and they gave themselves over to it. They invested their time and energy into their passions and created music, art, projects, bodies of work that show what they care about. To me, that’s the thing that’s most fascinating.
Over the years, I’ve had seasons when guitar took up a good amount of my schedule (lessons, practice time, playing for fun, class assignments, recitals, rehearsals, gigs, open mic nights, playing with friends, etc.) and seasons lasting for months at a time when I never touched the instrument. I used to think the more I did, the more accomplished I’d be as a player, and maybe there’s some truth to that. But just because you do a lot, doesn’t make you a good/bad/mediocre/virtuosic/average player. You aren’t what you have or haven’t done. There is just what you do and what you don’t and it doesn’t mean anything. We attach the judgements to the accomplishments and/or failures. When I realized that, I started seeing myself as a “female guitarist” and what I did or didn’t do in relation to music (or just to life in general) differently.
I currently teach one-on-one guitar lessons to students at a music school in Maryland. This is the start of my fourth year in this job, and I truly enjoy it. Before I graduated from college and university, I used to literally daydream about how cool it would be to have a job that I could bring my guitar with me to work everyday. This was during the time that I believed the only way you could get hired to teach guitar was if you had a doctorate degree and along with that education, thousands of dollars in debt. I genuinely thought that would be the only path for me if I decided I wanted to choose music as my career field. So when I graduated with my Modern Languages, Linguistics and Intercultural Communications - Spanish degree (with Music Minor), I didn’t apply for any jobs related to music or teaching.
I think it was during the first year of the pandemic (and a year and a half or so after I graduated) that I decided to take up (virtual) classical guitar lessons with my previous teacher again. I was given what I really wanted when I was unsure about what my major in college was gonna be at all—the time and the space to enjoy the learning process without the added pressure of getting a university degree. So I played the music I liked, practiced as much as I felt like was right for me and was happy doing it.
Later on when I was growing out of the time in between after graduating and independent living, I started looking for jobs. I looked at jobs related to my knowledge in Spanish, and in music and miscellaneous entry level jobs. I saw a listing for a Guitar Teacher and decided to go for it. I’d avoided jobs like this for a while even after I graduated because I didn’t feel like I was qualified for it. That imposter syndrome was hitting me hard. But as I read through the listing and revised my resumé, I thought about something my teacher said to me in one of our in person lessons years ago that stuck with me: “Why don’t you try teaching guitar? You’re nice! You can teach kids to strum C and G!” She said it in a light, non-pressuring kind of way but with enough conviction that I knew she believed in me. …You already know what happened after that.
So after 15 years of playing guitar, years of going to school for guitar, years of listening to music, years of teaching guitar, a lifetime of being a woman and years filled with all the other life stuff, I feel like I have a better understanding of how I see myself as a female, as a guitarist, as a female guitarist, and as a person overall.
What I’ve done and what I’ve accomplished as a guitarist/musician are all things to be proud of:
decided to start learning to play guitar at 14 years old, even when I felt like I started late compared to classmates who started learning their instrument when they were 4 or 5
played at open mic nights in front of family, friends and strangers
during senior year, auditioned and got accepted to the half-day music program held at another high school in the county
played in front of my peers
made friends with other musicians and played music together
prepared for and performed at countless recitals, concerts, performances, gigs
played in small and large ensembles
auditioned and got accepted to into the music department of my university
participated in master classes with world-renowned guitarists
applied and got accepted into the GFA Mentorship Program, went to NYC for the conference
performed at my first wedding gig
applied and got hired to teach guitar at schools in Maryland, Pennsylvania and online
created a website, youtube videos, content—sharing myself as a player and teacher on the internet
and more…
And what I feel like I failed at and what were missed opportunities all taught me valuable lessons:
not starting to learn an instrument earlier than 14 years old
getting so nervous playing in front of my peers that it causes me to get tense and mess up
saying no to gigs where they specifically asked for a female classical guitarist because I felt unqualified
not knowing what major to choose or which career path to take, just feeling overall uncertain about what I wanted my future to look like
not completing the music major but choosing a different track
not yet having found other female guitarists (aside from my teachers) to play music with
doubting myself too much!
and more…
My successes and my failures don’t define who I am as a player or a person. All of these experiences are just parts of my story, one that’s uniquely mine. One of a girl who decided she wanted to learn to play guitar and fell in love with it. And who then grew up into a woman with a full life in and outside of that one ability that she has.
What does it mean to me now, to be a “female guitarist?” For me personally, it just means freely choosing to do what I want with the skills, talent, knowledge, ideas and dreams that I have. If I want to learn to play the classical guitar pieces that I think are the prettiest, then I will, even if they’re all in drop D tuning. If I want to take a break from taking lessons for a while, then I will (and I have, multiple times!). If I want to create my own teaching materials and interesting compilations of music for people who want to learn guitar that happen to connect with my voice and style, then I will (and I have!). If I don’t want to teach the same nursery rhymes over and over to my young students, then I won’t (I’ll find more interesting music for both me and them!). If I don’t want to make videos about “the top 5 mistakes you’re making on guitar,” then I won’t (I’ll come up with an even better idea that gets more of the creative juices in my brain flowing).
I’m just going to remind myself that I can choose how I spend my time and my energy and what matters more to me is that I’m doing what I care about. It’s always been important to me to use what I have to help others, in whatever small or big way I can. In a quite literal way, teaching guitar allows me to help people. The way I see it, I don’t just teach my students where to put their fingers on the fretboard, or how to position their hands or what to listen for in their playing—I guide them in navigating the big, wide world that you can explore with music. I try to foster the interest and excitement they already have, even if they’re just starting out. I think that’s one of the biggest forces that makes an impact, on the student, how they see themselves, their outlook, what they believe they can do.
This isn’t limited to learning to play guitar, but if someone really enjoys what they’re doing, it shows. And it affects more than just one part of their life. It spills out into all the other areas and the positive effect spreads. So if me helping a student learn their favorite song does some good (whether I see it or not, whether they see it or not, whether the effect is obvious or nearly undetectable), then that’s what I want to be investing myself in. You never know how much good it could be doing.
I understand how impactful music can be in a person’s life. It gave me self-confidence, a creative outlet, a sense of accomplishment. Learning guitar taught me discipline and perseverance, kept me humble, sparked within me curiosity. Being a female guitarist presented me with opportunities, connections and experiences I didn’t expect. I gained a unique perspective and learned to appreciate the journey I’m on.
I don’t know why it was so important to me back then to do something that I saw mostly boys and men doing. It was never my goal to be the best guitarist out there, I never wanted to be famous, I didn’t really care about “being better” than anyone else.
The most important thing to me was that I was playing an instrument I loved, learning a lot of different music that interested in me and that most of the experiences I got from being able to play guitar made me happy. And I think the full circle moment came when I realized that being a female who chose to learn guitar isn’t what made me “special,” it’s the realization that I could find happiness, fulfillment, and purpose in being someone that chose to do what they enjoy. I just happen to be a female guitarist.✌️
